Hi
This is your
future self here. I know it sounds weird, but I promise you it’s not someone
playing a cruel practical joke. I’ll prove it’s me (you): You mix green and
black inks to make your own green-black one like the blue-black ink that Parker
do make. Also, you know all the words of The Twelfth of Never.
You’ve never told *anyone* that!
I’m writing
this because I’m hoping that I can save you from some of the misery and
complete ‘lostness’ you’re feeling. I’m going to tell you one really, really
important thing:
You’re right
— you *are* a girl.
You
genuinely are!! Your outside is wrong for you but, inside, you just *know* who
you are. You’re like an LP that’s been put in the wrong sleeve — there’s
beautiful music on it but no-one knows it’s there.
In just a
few years’ time, though, (not quite yet, not while you’re still at school) you
will be ready to change roles and be the woman you know you are. There
isn’t a single word for it at the time you’re reading this but we call it
‘transitioning’ now. I’m not going to try to kid you that it will be easy
— because it won’t — and it won’t be easy to wait, but my goodness it will be
worth it. Please know that although your family will disapprove,
especially in your early years as you, they love you. They won’t disown
you, and with help from a really good doctor and the love of some even better
friends, you will grow into a happy, confident woman and you will be able to
cope with everything you will go through to get there.
You probably
need to know in advance that society will be only a little more used to people
undergoing ‘sex changes’ than they are now and it certainly still won’t be
commonplace. Incidentally, we call it ‘gender reassignment’ now; the word
‘transsexual’ has gone out of fashion and we use the term ‘transgender.’ (Also,
I started this letter by saying ‘Hi’ but we often say ‘Hey’ now instead. It’s
said gently and not considered shouting.)
I’m not
going to tell you what your name will be (spoilers!) but it’s one of the names
you’ve often wished was yours. I *think* I’d read Ursula le Guin’s Earthsea Trilogy
by the time you read this — she was right about the power of true names! If you
haven’t read it yet, buy it (or borrow it).
Life will
happen in a way you have not dared imagine. I’m not going to tell you anything
about what else happens in your future/my history. Let’s just say
that by the time you write this letter, you will be happy and at peace in
your body, and that will have been true for the great majority of your
adult life. We both just need you to know that.
Good luck —
for yourself and for the woman you will finally be!! xx
Comments
Post a Comment